My daily routine has undergone a major change and it has affected him directly. His routine’s changed because of me. I’ve realized that when you are not yourself, then the ones to be affected first are the ones who love you the most. So I’ve applied reverse engineering as a solution, and it’s been working pretty well.

I’ve been taking him out very often.. and these days it’s this coffee house that’s at the end of the street. We have our regular corner, next to the glass wall where I have my coffee while I read a book, and he eats his cookies and chews on a bone..

He’s discovered something lately. I am sure if other dogs get to know about his discovery, they’ll call him ‘Einstein’.. imagine my dog as Einstein

It’s been raining here in Mumbai and while I sit at our regular place and look at the glass pane with water streaming down, throwing a kaleidoscope of images, Tweego enjoys blowing his warm breath onto the pane and rubbing the condensed water droplets with his paw. Each time he achieves this rather amusing feat, he wags his tail and barks. I understand, so I stoop down and pat him on his back. His feat is being noticed by many other regulars’ esp. this group of girls who are converted regulars thanks to Tweego… and that obviously means good business for the coffee house and loads of freebies for us.
“Things are beginning to change”

He replied sternly,
“I want you to change your name and you better have some options by tomorrow night!”

He’s left me with no choice. I’m contemplating on using William Shakespeare! That might please him.

Do you have any other names to offer?
Why not send me your choices of names and you could stand this once-in-a-life-time opportunity to meet him face-to-face over a cup of Indian Tea in my dream tonight!

On second thought, is this inception? Is he planting an idea or stealing one?

Tweego

I am reading through Bombay Times, a supplement of Times of India that features the latest Page-3 parties, gossips on Bollywood Celebs, et al and have reached ‘Page 3’ when Tweego ‘strolls’ in, jumps onto the bed, sits next to me, looks at me (read – rather gives me that ‘impress me’ look) and wags his tail (phew! That took care of that look!). That’s the perfect start to his morning.

At times I want to call him ‘mojojo.’ Pronunciation ( mo…jojojo. Stress on mo and then jojojo in a single breath)

So where were we.. he’s wagging his tail; and I get back to reading Page 3; not that it interests me.. but since I am on it (not at a Page 3 party but on that page) lets read this too.
I consider these Page 3 gigs a One act play:
Lady 1 meets Lady 2:
Oh dar…hh..ling, how are you? Muah, muah.. half hearted hug… oh! You’re looking so pretty./? (was that a question?) Where did you get this dress from? (will she ever go there?)
Where have you been all this while? (you were better there)

Lady 2: Oh..I’ve been here.. there..blah blah (Lady 1 doesn’t care, but that’s the best way to kill time)

So all these ladies are doing the same gig, it’s like several One Act Plays enacted spontaneously. Then they get drunk, they dance, and.. . (Kids read this blog too; cautionary measure taken)

How would it be if Tweego was in one of these parties? I am sure he’s learnt a lot of nautanki’s from me in all these dog-years.

Tweego giving this Look !

I look at him and ask him through my 6th sense; I wonder which ‘th sense he uses, he receives my transmitted signal and reciprocates with a look similar to this.

© Amit Chaudhary

Thank Shakespeare, Acknowledgments and Gratitude are always at the end of the Book.

Imagine reading a ridiculous book, and you have already thanked the authors wife, boss, dog, fishes, kids, et al for having put you through so much of pain.

Force India Formula One Team

Some mornings I wake up and have trouble finding myself. Vaibhav, Vaibhav, I shout, as I go from one corner of the house to another. No Success. Then I go through the day feeling disjointed, and when I finally do find myself, its when I wasn’t looking.

a trash-covered creek in Manila, Philippines, where slums often adjoin rubbish dumps. The country's poorest sift through the garbage to find discarded objects they can sell on or re-use, or even scraps of food to eat.

How long until we realize that we are sitting on a chair with a bamboo growing under our @ss and when it’s time to move out, it’s too late ‘coz you are freaking stuck to the chair and the bamboo continues to grow, unperturbed about what it’s going to touch. It will continue to grow with a lot of force: Like it fu*&ing has a brain.

But, we do.

So what are you doing, as an individual to combat climate change, fight Global Warming and prevent it’s ill-affects? Celebrate another “world environment day” until the bamboo … do I need to mention !

There’s a small story I want to tell you.. the wash room at my work place has a paper-napkin vending machine. You don’t need to drop in a coin to get paper… but just pull it out, wipe your hands and throw it in the bin. Why can’t these guys, bloody carry a handkerchief? I didn’t care to ask them. I dont’ want to educate, “educated” people. Nature help these “educated” people; I don’t think it cares. It must be happy that it will get rid of us.

Now getting back to the Great Bamboo Story, if it begins to hurt.. .. dude… I will move the chair.

An employee works inside the Caivano dump, near Naples, southern Italy, where rubbish is turned into bales. Neapolitans took the law into their own hands after the city ran out of space to dump rubbish

A huge mound of waste at a dump in New Orleans, a year after Hurricane Katrina struck

Carrier bags from the British supermarket chain Tesco contribute to pollution in the Shunde district of Guangdong, China. Italian, Dutch and British waste is recycled in the area, but as many as 3bn plastic bags are used in China every day

Computer parts lie on the ground at a dump in Accra, Ghana. Thousands of discarded computers from western Europe and the US arrive in the ports of west Africa every day, ending up in massive toxic dumps where children burn and pull them apart to extract metals for cash.

A cow feeds on plastic bags and other garbage along a stream in New Delhi, India

Farm waste and used pesticide containers pile up in a natural water reserve, which has become an illegal dump,according to environmental group Ecologistas en Accion, in El Ejido, south-east Spain

Birds on a tree among plastic materials in Changzhi, Shanxi province

Sheep feed off rubbish left on one of Albania's biggest beach resorts of Durres

In this photo released by National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, marine debris has been washed ashore on Laysan Island in the Hawaiian Islands

Picture source: guardian.co.uk © Guardian News and Media Limited 2009

A certain gloom and paranoia has shadowed him. Our regular walks are not the same anymore. His senses are highly attentive when in the open. He fears that a BMC (Bombay Municipality Corporation) official will either sterilize him or kill him; mistaking him to be a stray.

This sorry situation seems to bring the best in him. When I throw the ball on the wall, expecting him to run behind it and grab it in his mouth, he waits for it to rebound and then grab it, completely surprising me. He’s scared that the ball might take him out of my sight and in the zone of danger.

Whenever I watch TV in my room, he comes in kicking a football; pauses, gives me a sad-sorry look and continues to play with the ball. I stare. I stare at him. Who is more intelligent? Isn’t Man the most intelligent of all living creatures?
Tweego never questions. I think he believes questioning is for journalists. No wonder he dislikes TV and the newspapers.
What good are questions anyway. It hasn’t and doesn’t solve the purpose.

Tweego has quickly adapted to his situation and moved on. I no longer feel sorry for him, I feel sorry for myself.

Wishing you a very Happy Christmas.

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Vik:
hehehe!! why? why?
tell you what, kill Vaibhav!!!
he has already accumulated all his obituaries !!

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vikram:
naaah, killin a man who wants to die is useless, then ur simply helpin him out..

i wont do that..
i will give him all the reasons to live, i m a contrast in itself..

Oye…
ki gal hai?

anyways.. i am doing good… either i’ll dump the job or the job will

i need a favor from u.. (i hope u don’t say that it’s yet another one!!)

One fine day , u get a call .. and this guy excitedly says that Vaibhav is dead.. . he kicked the bucket.. what a rocking guy he was ..
this caller is really excited about the news and also about mentioning how he felt and thought about Vaibhav (i.e., me.. !! )

so.. . if you were supposed to break this news to someone, has to be a common friend.. how and what would it be..
apart from "Vaibhav is a rocking guy "

Terms and conditions:
NO sentimental and emotional stuff.. .please… this will spoil the fun..
a little creativity and humour will be perfect..
it can be a pat on the back or pure criticism.. no problems… as long as you gonna meet me soon in case u send me the latter..

thats about it…
no further questions…
expecting your mail..bloody soon !!

A few of my friends called immediately, rather crossed, they asked me "dude, whats wrong with you?". I told them that this is just a joke, and to stop wasting time and mail me what I’ve asked for. None of them did, but a few who didn’t call replied.

vaibhav was too sweet………………………………..
the world swallowed him…………………………………………
- Anish Sanghai

You know, Vaibhav mar gaya
acha hua jo woh pakao mar gaya
- Chetan Oswal

Damn !!! Another Funeral….
What do i wear to this funeral???
Oh gosh! I gotta buy some new clothes for this one…
So pls people suggest me from where shud i buy the clothes and wat shud i wear.
Awaiting ur reply
Yours Fashionable
- Siddheshwar Mahajan

dude, I am sorry to disappoint you but this will take time, i loved the idea, but you will get ur reply is sometime, please co operate.
- Vikramjeet Singh Gambhir

hello, arre tune sunaa kya, … apna nautanki dost, khud hi khud tapakgayaa….
saaala ab ye maalum karna mushkil padgaya he, ki woh sach me tapka he ya ab bhi nautanki kar raha he…
bas ek bar ye khabar paki hojaaye……..
- Deepak Shir

oyeee!!!

Did u know the news???
Vavav has left us!…. im serious!!! tht no good joker decided to let go of all of us so soon!!!
F@$&*r!!! once i’m dead i’ll get him for leaving us!
I can’t go on his funeral!!!! i really can’t see him dead!!! unfortunately that ass looks good only when he is smiling!
Damn!!! In a way he is lucky… he has done what he wanted to do in life!
He shoudn’t have died man!!!
i told him so many times not to doze off on the frying pan while cooking!!! he comes home late night and starts cooking! we all know he cant survive till that late! he has to sleep!
No! but he had to get hungry!
He had to cook !!! and the unavoidable happened! he was such an ass!!!! i’ll miss that bugger!
- Vinay Sudhindran

All those who replied, thank you.
All those who haven’t replied or haven’t received the mail but want to say a word, this is your 15 seconds to fame on my blog (i hope that impresses you ) ), can leave it as a comment.

Happy Environment Day